Jafar
Jafar is supposedly the strategist for the klan and Popeye's childhood friend. He's just like Jafar in the movie, psychotic and shit, but without all the charisma. (Seriously they put a Disney villain in their klan and claimed he was heroic? Well, it's not as bad as Lady Tremaine) He's also a Scientologist, and proud of it. He also seems to have a strange fascination with ripping out people's spines. History Early Days He was mostly homeschooled (and didn't go to a private school, despite what the RUC wiki says, seriously, you should be smart enough not to buy into their bullshit at this point). His parents were "hardcore" scientologists who did not know a lick about how actual science works and mostly ties it in with religion and angels and demons and ghouls oh my and blah blah shit. This has lead to him becoming an annoying scientologist who brags about his own (fake) IQ of 500 or something. Popeye But despite his "genius," he was stuck flipping burgers at Burger King. Popeye once came in and ordered a burger, Jafar took his order, and Popeye, for whatever reason, saw that as an act of friendship. One day, after the car crash, Popeye came crying after Jafar, talking about how the "evil Mr. Jap" killed and raped his parents and murdered everyone in his town or something like that even though Jafar lived in the same town and there were no other casualties in the crash besides Popeye's parents (except for the drunk guy in the other car). Jafar joined Popeye in his quest to capture "Mr. Jap," which lead to the infamous "Bloody Sunday" massacre. Magic Bullshit Jafar was given a snake staff reminiscient of the original Jafar's (as in, you know, the one you probably saw in the movie?) by a group of greedy ass scientists who could have kept the RUC from existing if only they didn't cut their budget group of people not to be trusted by anyone due to what they've caused. Most of the magic Jafar's been able to perform is not due to his own competence, but mostly due to the snake staff. He mostly uses it to turn people into snakes or blow them up with fireballs if they didn't agree with his Scientologist views. Mr. Roach His mother ended up dating a guy named Mr. Roach, who just has very bad hair and was not related to Bern in any way. In fact, Bern wouldn't even be born, or at least be very young at this point. (Psst, the RUC is transphobic btw, I sincerely hope that you already knew that) One day Jafar's mom died of cancer, then Jafar and the RUC made up some bullshit story about how Mr. Roach swallowed her and gave her this "cockvirus" thing or I don't know, this shit hurts my head to read, but you know, the RUC's all like "YOU CAN'T HANDLE DA TRROOOOOFFFFFFFREHTCIEUICENYTCNEWITWENIWFWECERHTIE." So... like... afterwards.... he ripped out his mother's spine (FATALITY)... and used it as a necklace... that does not scream creepy or psychopathic at all. Now he screams and pisses himself whenever a cockroach (or anything resembling one) appears in his vicinity... even though Roach is just the guy's last name. Several years later, Jafar saw Bern walking into a candy store to buy some candy. This candy store belonged to Mr. Roach, who was mournful over the death of Jafar's mother, but you know, the RUC demonized him the same way they demonized everyone else DEMON DEMON DEMONIC DEMON DEMON BALL Z DEMON DEMON ROCK THE DEMON COME GET ME DADADDADADADADADAD- excuse me, couldn't help myself. Anyways, the RUC demonized Mr. Roach to the point where they believe he works for Bern and is selling poisoned candy to children or some shit. Jafar busted into the store, stole a candy cane from a baby... literally, he stole a candy cane... from a baby... and stabbed Mr. Roach through the head with it, although he didn't kill him. But then he ripped out Mr. Roach's spine (FATALITY) afterwards (the RUC wiki didn't mention that part now did they?) He then pretended the children were all sick from the poison candy, so he gave them all... a very very suspicious jar of liquid... called an RUCure... well, not give, more like... he forced them down their throats. The children started getting really really sick, some started spazzing out a little, and Jafar took this as them praising him for saving them (the crazy piece of shit). Look Jafar, that kid was not bowing down to you, he was trying to keep himself from choking. Afterwards, he plans to rip out Bern's spine (FATALITY) to use for a cancer cure... because like... neurotoxins or... some shit... look, he's a Scientologist, you should not listen to anything he says. Crashocalypse War During text to be added Demise After (briefly) killing Cocaine (who got retconned back into being alive by Mike through the power of story re-writing bs after beating Jafar up), Popeye escaped through a tunnel, Mike, understandably pissed, came up to Jafar, and performed the hundred crack fist on him ATATATAATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT and kicked his fucking ass. He crashed into the wall, leaving him unable to move for a while (although this didn't kill him). Some time after, Popeye returned the same room, discovered Jafar on the floor, and started crying about how he's dead and stuff... and Jafar's just yelling at Popeye trying to get him to realize he's actually alive, but Popeye apparently is deaf or something and can't hear a word he says. Popeye then put Jafar's living body in a coffin, and buried him alive. Jafar would pretty much suffocate and die while he's still yelling at Popeye that he's still alive.... well, not anymore, he died at some point Aftermath Like every other member in the RUC, the devil always brings him back to life so he wouldn't have to deal with the RUC's bullshit. And like the rest of the members after the war, he's become a massive, complete joke as punishment by the universe or whatever. No threat anymore, his magic doesn't even work right anymore... in fact, it often backfires and turns HIM into a snake. Powers, abilities, other shit He claims to be the best strategist ever, studying from the likes of Napoleon, but he's really just a self-absorbed coward. All of the magic he performs are only due to his snake staff. He also makes "RUCures," which.... well, do the opposite of what they're supposed to do. Category:Radioactive Uber Clan Category:Members Category:Albertism